Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I am learning more and more everyday that you have to rely on others. As hard as that can be sometimes, you have to have people in your life you can fall back on. You also can't be shy in life! You have to take one giant step forward in order to keep moving.
And with that I had to do some digging about my blog and school email and realized I couldn't get into my blog for the last week. Turns out my school signed a contract with google to keep using gmail as our email provider, but we can no longer use blogger and probably some other things like that.. Oh well, I am hear writing that I am moving my blog!
I wanted to make the move easy, here is the link.
I am hoping I can still access blogger for a while. But in case I can not I am moving everything over. Better safe than sorry. I like blogging so I am sticking to it.
It's 7:30 on a Wednesday evening. Normally I would be at bible study, but this girl has other things to do. And no writing this blog is not one of them. Just gotta do it now while I literally can.
Projects, papers, tests and presentations. That is what the rest of this week is filled with.
This weekend will be spent at WFR with Kaila, which I am super excited about. We will be gone till Monday :) Happy Day! The ONLY thing I am not happy about is the amount of school work I need to get done. But if I manage my time just right, it will all get done.
This term has been a packed one, as you all know. This last Saturday, young life had a fundraiser! Car wash and garage sale. It went good, but the weather wasn't holding out. So we have more events to come! I've been on a normal schedule lately. Classes, work, young life, homework, the classroom. Oh you know!
Friday I was able to go on a field trip with my little kinders and that was def the highlight of my week. Maybe this term ;) They are so precious. Can't wait till I get to see them tomorrow morning. And I will show up at the right time. My schedule usually has me somewhere by 7 or 8 lately. I almost tried to show up to my 9am class this morning at 8, until I realized I didn't have class till later. And that was the start of today.
Got a lot to accomplish tonight, so those who pray, pray I get what I need done actually done!
I am gonna call it quits, but look for my other blog.
Same posts are there, and I will be posting new ones from there.
Stay tuned for the life of Alyssa, where life isn't always easy, but easy to praise!
Love you all!
Ms. Lyss (like one little kinder calls me) :)
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
For those of who may not know me very well, I appreciate the times you stick out and read what I have to say. I hope my "journaling" can be a time of encouragement, or hope or something that has a positive light in your life.
For me, it's a time to let the real Alyssa out. I know life has its ups and downs, and that life can sometimes be a struggle. I think it's safe to say, we all face struggles every single day. Mine are more evident some days than others, but they are always there. Struggles don't just go away, as much as I would like them too. They are also usually something we have been facing for what may seem likes years beyond years, or they actually are; such as mine.
What I am dealing with lately, a few people know. I am so fortunate to have those people to talk to, even if I don't always feel as if I can share (when I know I really can!). Eh and thus the blogging comes handy. I have been blessed here at Western with people who are willing to listen to what I feel like is either complaining or negativeness. In reality things can't be bottled up! I heard on Klove not too long ago that for a person to be happy, you must have friends. I am improvising now with what was actually said since I can't remember exact words. It goes like this. A person who doesn't have close friends live as long as a person who has smoked for 15 years. So no friendship= not a lot of years to live. How crazy! I strive to have friends. I strive to make people feel important. It may not happen everyday, but I do not like when people feel left out. I mean I don't like feeling left out. There are some things I could work out to make people feel involved and special. I think what it takes is inviting someone to do something (cough cough, that's how I feel and what I need a lot of the time).
Little bit of a scatter brain, but oh well. I am the one writing, so I can write what I want. Isn't that how it works? Oh also, I should probably go through and reread before I ever post, but I don't. So if my grammar is wrong, that is why. Any who....
God is sooooo good. In my times of doubt or of being impatience or stress through numerous things, I am reminded of His goodness and how he provides. I have been blessed with two earthly brothers from my parents. Who I love dearly and couldn't imagine life without them. Hunter who is 14 will call me here and there and tell me some about what is going on. Most importantly I am so proud of who he is becoming. Before he didn't know how to make friends, but since joining sports he has so many friends and in general is happier! Noticing a trend. Cory, my twin. A guy who I miss and wish could call me! They are both so great, and growing up.
This leads into the brothers I have here at Western. I really don't personally know many of the men at Wednesday Bible Study as well as I might want. But I am thankful that they are here. Leading as great examples of who I and the rest of the women should be waiting for. We deserve nothing but the best in a man and these men prove that day after day. Friday was a night dedicated to the Women of Bible study! Night of Honor. And what a night it was. Escorted to our dinner table, while music was being played. A little bit of a show, and encouragement from the men. I even got to watch all the women from afar taking photos together to document the great time we all were having. It was so amazing to be in the presence of God in this way. A night to dress up, feel pretty and special. We all need one of those every once in a while! What stuck out to me the most that night the anonymous letter we all were given by a brother in Christ. My first reaction when I was hearing about these letters that were at our left side on the dinner table was, "Who would have wrote me a letter, since I barely know any of the guys." Once again, swept off my feet. God knows how to surprise me and let me know that there are people watching and paying attention. Now thinking about it, of course there are men I know at Western. YOUNG LIFE! I dedicate a night every week to hanging out with some amazing leaders who are invested in high school students lives. What a blessing that is in itself! As I start reading this letter it hits me, the man who wrote this letter sees me every week. Sometimes not at my best I must add. As I read and take in the details of this letter I start to tear up. Receiving a letter that is personal and hits home it a good letter! The content was stuff I talk to people about, but bringing it forth is a new way to see things. It was nice to know that people SEE ME! From afar we are all watching; hopefully not judging, but realizing what people are doing. It is nice to hear that what we do in life is making a difference. I am not 100% sure who wrote that letter to me, but I want you to know that I truly appreciated the kind things you had to say. There really aren't many words to describe how I felt when I read it and how I have felt after I've read it.
The things I do in life I don't except recognition. But I will say it is nice to be recognized. I have been stressed lately. I haven't had enough time to think about the stress because of the time I spend doing other things that have to get done. While everyone else was worshipping at bible study tonight, I sat back and started praying. Praying for people in my life, but also the things going on in my life. Then all of a sudden a prayer was answered! It wasn't "big" but it was big enough for me! I am thankful to receive the prayer I personally got from a couple awesome people tonight. They were both spot on with how I was feeling. Now it is time to let God do His work, and for me to pay attention and abide by what He asks of me.
Tomorrow is a new day. An early day where I get to spend time with high school girls, talk about life and build relationships.
It is also important to remember that God provides in so many amazing mysterious ways! this week he has provided comfort when i least expected it!
Praise Jesus for being Jesus! Scott at bible study said tonight, "Jesus+Nothing=Everything!" We have been given everything we ever need! We have done nothing to receive it, but it is still there. By the grace and love through Jesus!
Thanks for reading my long thoughts. I hope you all have an encouraged rest of your week and weekend.
Miss Lyss ;)
Friday, May 10, 2013
As I'm sitting here on the futon in my house, listening to music and reading a book for class I ponder this week and all of its fullness. I'm realizing the blessing God has given me, bringing me here to Monmouth. I've known about it for a while, but really... I could have ended up anywhere. Somewhere in Washington going to a university, where I'd try to go home every weekend or something of the sort. Somewhere across the country (which would have been awesome) but I am here. A small town, thirty minutes from Oregon's state capital and fairly close too two major schools. In this place, God is here. God is other places, and even with you wherever you are. But ultimately he brought me here to listen, to learn, to ponder, and to appreciate.
This week has been a rough one. From a busy bust schedule everyday, to not doing well in a class, or from having to go to the dentist because of a crack in my tooth that happened all of a sudden. I've done lots of shedding of tears, asking so many questions in my head and talking to God. I know things that can get tough, and that everyone's tough is different. My tough this week was just too much to handle at times. But most importantly God opened doors and showed me love through people.
It's been a nonstop week and one that I am happy to endure. It's the end of week six in school which means projects and tests are being pushed full force. My attitude: there's a lot going on, a lot to do, but it can be done. I've got to look for the outlet of help when I need it. I can push away.
Tuesday I faced a day of prayer, the elementary school, hs lunch and work. While eating a snack at work I thought to myself how much my tooth was hurting. Okay this pain was not normal, even for me. I've also decide I need to cut back on the sugar. Because this particular tooth that was hurting had already been worked on twice and all of its troubles were due to some sort of sweet. As this tooth pain would not subside, it was time to call the dentist. Who I have been avoiding because I just don't have the money to get work done. Other plans were in store. I rushed to the dentist from work hoping they had a time slot so they could work on my tooth that day. Praise The Lord! I was able to get in and have a temp filling bad news, I need more work done; which means forking over more money I don't have. It's all important and must get done so no complaints. That was Tuesday with thankfully a nice time of young life to go to and the support from my awesome team :)
Tuesday had come and gone and it was Wednesday. That's normal I know. Presentation to do that day which I felt want over very well. Next class, history; oh joy! Not my favorite, but also not the worst class ever. It was fine until my professor said we would be getting our exam back. Thinking to myself, "I did decent, can't be that bad" get it back..... 68. That equals a D+. This is normal work since I don't retain information well, but that's still not what you want to get. Things are not piling on... Just not in he best of moods facing this week. Then remember sort of that Thursday it is my birthday with a super packed day.
Thursday comes and it's time to face it, but I am excited to be 23. I'm feeling more mature. Not ready to take on adult responsibilities, but still stoked! Wake up early for the day to begin with campaigners, then the elementary school and work. Lets just say it was a good morning, even if too myself I was saying it wasn't. People were kind, even if they didn't remember ;) class comes and goes and we get out a half hour early, noting better than that! The night before, a great couple I know invited me over for pizza birthday dinner. That I really enjoyed an my mood started turning around. He rest f my night consisted of the spring dance concert with a few friends and to end going to crush a nice little fancy bar place that serves wine. I mean I am 23 now for crying out loud! And the whole "bar scene" was never my thing. I am not a wine person, but Kaila picked good. Ending the night there with Kaila and Shelby was a lot of fun!! The free dessert topped it off even more as well :)
I did have a good birthday and embracing the new age, even if I am still in school and will be for a while!
This morning I've spent it being blessed with the fact I didn't have to work. Even f I need some hours. I got to sleep in; which has not been done for days! Maybe even weeks! Praise God for his goodness an love. I made banana bread and soon will watch safe haven which one of my awesome roommates gave me for my birthday :) can't go wrong with Nicholas!
Have lots planned for a while, but I am slowly learning to embrace it and hopefully won't keep getting so overwhelmed. Thanks to all for the birthdays wishes, presents and fun. And that included watching my other roommate in the spring dance concert!
Hope you all have a great weekend :)thanks for reading
Love to all!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
I've had a lot on my mind lately. And along with a lot on my mind I have been busy like normal. You know what though, I embrace it. I wish I could make more time for people. I've been doing the norm lately, going to school, working, young life, Wednesday Night Bible Study, and whatever I can cram into my days. I am starting to feel the long days and the little time I have for other things. My goal as it should be is striving to focus on the present while being led by God in what He has planned for me. My days don't go perfect, my life doesn't go perfect. That is what I love about life. I love that regardless of how I feel or what I do, life is there and so many opportunities come from each day.
Let's start with what went on last week and with my heart. I don't want to leave anything out, but I've gotta start with Saturday night. Saturday the women of bible study put on a evening called night of respect for the men of bible study. I time for the women to serve the men and let them know how much we appreciate them and cherish their friendship. Personally I only know a few of the men. Regardless I love them all like my brothers. The courage and the dedication they have to God is beyond what I have experienced. I am thankful that I get to know so many guys by name and was able to make them feel as special as they all are and have laughs with them. It's truly something special to come together with young adults my age, and serve the Lord and serve each other. To see the love one another has for each other and what we would do for each other. I pray that over this time I have at Western that I could build stronger relationships, and that the names of people I know would grow. Such a time to remember and never forget, and I am looking forward to night of honor! Guys and gals, you all rock!
Up until I'd say Monday I was getting over my sickness. By the grace of God He made me healthy and able to the things I need to do. God lately has really been showing me, that by trusting in Him I have nothing to worry about. And if you know me that is big, because sadly to say I am a worrier. Wish I wasn't, but slowly I am working it. Baby steps of course! With God's love, trust and mercy unimaginable things can happen. I'm human! I struggle! Like everyone else, we all have a story. Mine might be different than yours. I face things everyday, am reminded of things everyday. Things I want to change. Not things I regret, but things that make me not feel as who I am meant to be. I don't like that feeling. And that is something I am willing to work on! With God's help and prayer I am working hard to fix some of the things.
I sit here, listening to Spotify like I always do at my computer.And this song with these lyrics come on, "He's faithful to the end, He's faithful to my heart." So many songs have been speaking to me. I want to obey Him, listen to His will. I have a lot of growing to do. I have a lot more mistakes to make. God is going to bring me through the trials I face. I am never alone. When I feel alone and on the outside of friends, He is there holding my hand. He doesn't want us to feel alone. With that said, I am thankful for Wed Bible Study. I have made so many friends through there, and don't know where I would be without that place. I live in a town, where when I came here I knew no one. I wanted a change. I am ready for another change! I know my change is a change of heart here in Monmouth. To be vulnerable, and willing to have God open my heart to things I may not feel ready for. "Fill me up God."
Wrapping this up, I have been thinking about my birthday. Which is in two weeks. I don't know when I'll stop counting down the days till my birthday, but I guess not yet! Bring on 23! I have been living on my own, supporting myself for almost four years. That is along time to me, while being in school and trying to work and give time to other things. With all that said, I want to be a teacher. In college, and the education major, you are expected to pay literally, hundreds of dollars out of your pocket. I am not one to ask for anything for my birthday. I would rather spend time with people I love. Someone's company is one of the most important things in my life. I have my fair share of wants of course. I also have needs that I pay more attention to.
I need to take a reading test for the third time to get further into my program really before I take any other tests. It is $85. And then I am going to Young Life camp as a leader this summer and thats $150. So if anyone was thinking of getting me anything, contributing in anyway to help me financially would be so appreciated. I am not expecting it of anyone, but I do like cards. And that I do expect ;)
Thanks for reading my life story. Peace out world for the night. Need to go collect myself and finish homework for the night!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Since I have been back from break school has taken off. I am taking 5 classes this term, and I know my history class is going to kick my butt. I find everything very interesting to learn, but some of the language is complete gibberish to me. Let's pray I can get through each two hour class M/W. Some days I just want to snooze. My other classes are turning out to be fun and more intriguing (well for the most part that is). In the next few months I will do science experiments, p.e. lesson plans, write some papers about social study issues, lots of random stuff about history and learn about special needs in the education system. I am ready to learn, let me tell ya!
Thinking about this term gets to me think about the one class I will be taking right after this term for a week. Then I start to think about living here this summer, which leads me to jobs and money. I need to take one day at a time. I have a lot of exciting things happening this term and this summer that I must not let consume my mind. My focus is the present, each day one day at a time is all I must do. If we live in a time of the future our minds will go crazy!
Back to some things that have recently been going on is that I am working in a kindergarten classroom. Every Tuesday and Thursday I am volunteering in a classroom with 20 adorable 5 and 6 year olds. They make me laugh every day and test my patience more than I thought could. There is one little boy in this class who I think every time I am in there asks if I have a kid at the school, and when I tell him no he asks if I have a baby in my tummy. I have jumped to the conclusion that I am sure he doesn't understand that since I am in school I can not have kids. Which is the truth for me. Sometime it will hit him that I am just helping in his classroom. I always have some sort of story about these kids. This last Thursday my little buddy Rylan noticed the pooh bear shirt and pin I was wearing and told me Spiderman is better. I had to disagree with him and tell him that Pooh Bear is better. He still didn't agree, so this "argument" went on all afternoon. At the end of the day I called him Mr. Pooh Bear and he said, "People don't call me Mr. Pooh Bear." He then called himself Mr. Pooh SpiderMan, cracked me up!
Oh I am sure I will have more to share from this buddy and many others. They brighten my day, and I look forward to working with them each week. More confirmation of how much I can't wait to be in a classroom.
Last weekend I was able to attend an amazing retreat with Wednesday Night Bible Study at Young Life's Breakaway camp in Gearhart, OR. I had such an amazing time. I still feel something missing, that I have been praying for off and on and something I could feel at the retreat, but I know when the time if right things will fall into place. God does amazing works in that way. It is important to remember that everything is in his timing. Not of my own. I can do nothing without him. At this retreat we sang worship songs, prayed together, hung out together, and played games together. Beach volleyball was a highlight in the game area because I had never played before. So much fun! Volleyball was never my "good" sport, as to why I did cross country, but so glad I did. But beach volleyball was something to be silly in! And after that we went to the beach. I missed the beach. I always miss the beach! Can't wait to visit a beach again! So many new friends and memories were made at this retreat! I am so happy God made it in my plan to go, and for everyone else who was there. God makes things happen for a reason, and for each individual to be there was to help us grow stronger and closer.
So many things in these last couple weeks I am thankful for!
Tonight I must close because I can tell my medicine is kicking in and I should sleep!
Oh the wonders sleep can do! Everyone make sure to get enough sleep in their regular sleeping routine. It is important! :)
Good night friends
OH and pray for a quick recovery! Thanks :D
Monday, April 1, 2013
This break went by way too quick! Wednesday came and went. I watched my little brother (who is six feet tall) compete in a track meet. This is his first year doing track so I was happy I could see one. Nice to see him and my dad. I also got to see many others at the meet. While I was home I mostly drove around and visited with people. Not really. Relaxing time for my spring break but it was worth seeing people I miss and only see a couple times out of the year. a couple times i went to the school and chatted with a few people picked my brother up from school and drove him home. Friday I got to venture up to Seabrook to see a dear friend who works up there. I first toured the small town of Seabrook which is adorable and chat with my friend. Times don't always work to see the people we want to, but I was more than willing to go see him.and am that way with my friends. Friends are important and if one person doesn't make an effort than when do you see or talk to people? This sort of thing has always been a learning process for me, but it now makes so much more sense. I also got to visit my friend Alexis at the boy baseball game. Missed that girl a lot! And am so excited for her new life and new baby that is on the way :) then I got to chill with my pal Alyssa and her mom cooked dinner and we watched a movie! Miss her too. Everyone lives so far away. I wish I were able to drive and see everyone more than I do. First off I don't always have time and secondly it costs me an arm and a leg :( sad but i won't dwell on it.
The end of my break was nearing and I started to get sad. I tried to make the most out of it I could. Lots of doing things time but I wouldn't trade the time I got to spend with people for anything. Sunday for Easter I went to church. So many people! I didn't even get I say hi to everyone I want! But then it was finally time for me to drive home. Holidays in general are hard for me. And having a five hour car ride by myself didn't make matters better. Holidays I'm typically "alone" I know I have people who care about me, but I don't get those Easter/valentine/4 of July/new years/memorial day baskets or candy or vacations like other people. I'm not mad about that. My life is different than everyone else's. I understand that. Being a 22 year old girl who is surviving this world with God by my side can get scary and lonesome. I'm happy with my life. Of course of have those thoughts of wanting to be done with school or wanting a family. Then I have to think again God has MY life in his hands. He has control. Whatever happens in my life is for a reason and has a purpose. Doesn't mean that life isn't hard for me. That things don't come easy. Holidays are something that I try to look past. At least the ones that don't glorify God.
With all that said I am happy to be back at school. See where life and God takes me. I get to venture into a kindergarten classroom tomorrow and be with kids that love with no strings attached.
Sorry if this was more of a journal entry. That's my life. Take it or leave it. I know some people will truly appreciate hearing what I have to say. (Like my Granada, love you!)
I hope everyone has a blessed week and remembers that God is there in all of our moment of live. Even the tough ones, and with him those moments are made easier.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Can I be out at the ranch every time I write a blog? I guess that means I should come out every weekend! I would be fine with that :) I don't know where I am at with last weeks blog, but oh we'll. Not a stressful thing. Finals week has come and gone, and spring break is here. I've been so blessed this last week. I took a final Wednesday ( my only real final) I don't like to rub it in, but it was nice to have time to relax. I was able to watch movies galore! I don't get get that a lot! I also had a night of strictly roommate time! Watched movies, colored, scrapbooking, chatting time. We don't get the chance to do that, like at all. Friday came for the end of the week and I prepared myself for my long adventurous weekend. Headed to the ranch. Long five or so our drive I was preparing myself for. Figured we would leave early enough so we would be in the dark on the way to camp. Thank goodness we did. Leah, Jessica and I had an adventure on the way here. Coming up the mountain and over the mountain I look to my gps for the directions since I have never driven here myself. Over the mountain I end up taking a wrong turn and my GPS tells me to go on a random road, which is all covered in snow. Going smooth with my SUV, we finally hit a rough patch of SNOW! I am from the beach, snow and me not close friends. Love it, just not driving in it. Talking to God I know he will get us through this. I decide to go to the road because our turn off was 250 yards in front of us :/ I walk the short way to he road and low and behold a minute later someone drives me. I flag them down and they come to our rescue! Praise The Lord. Everything else was smooth sailing. Finally I am at camp, so pumped and excited. This is my worry free happy place. What a blessing this week has been. Close quarters with so many godly people. Getting to know new people and their hearts. All weekend I listened to people, worked in the sassy and cut string with others and tied bracelets and necklaces then bag them up so they are ready for campers for the summer. I never realized what kind of work needs to totally be done to accomplish the experience everyone has for summer. Hard work for everyone, but so worth it. I can't wait to see kids here this summer, hear about a God who loves them and do all that we have prepared them for at this camp. This had been such a great experience that words can't always describe. I made a couple new friends named Isaac, Grace and joshua. Of course they are under the age of ten ! But that is where my heart goes! Big thanks to God for a great safe start to my break! Thanks for all you give to me on a daily basis. The food and clothing I need. Warm water and a hot shower. I am pumped to now head home and see what you bring to me there. Tomorrow hunter has a track meet :) and I get to see loved ones! Make this a long second half of break where I can love on my people! :)